Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in Ash's LiveJournal:

Monday, September 20th, 2004
6:14 pm	Settling in ... I can't believe that it's just been a month since I came to the US. It seems much much longer. The first couple of weeks here were absolute crap. Now, I'am a cheerful and optimistic girl by nature, and I never thought anything could get me that depressed, but the first few eeks here nearly did me in. And I think only fellow students who went through the same ordeal of starting life here can empathize. Things started to fall apart right from the beginning when I got to New Jersey. I arrived at Newark and had 2 hrs to catch my connecting flight to Atlanta. Immigration and customs took a looooooong time and when I finally got to my baggage, I found that one suitcase had torn along the seams. So I lugged my bags around ( btw, the baggage cart cost 3$ !! geez, thats a lot when u're new n still converting $ into Rs !! )and put in a complaint with the airlines. I checked if anything was missing and then taped the bag together. I had 5 mins to get tot the next terminal and catch my flight..managed to make it just in time... then sat in the plane for 1/2 an hour waiting to take off ( air traffic). I was stuck in the window seat with a fat american chick in the middle seat n a fat american dude in the aisle seat and they were busy yapping way and flirting with each other. And I have never felt as ALONE as I during that 2 hr flight to Atlanta. Everything sort of came together and sucker-punched me right then. You know,.... that I was all alone, with friends and family millions of miles away..completely and totally responsible for myself... and I was stuck here for 2 whole years. I felt naked and raw and alone, I wanted to cry but i didnt want to make a scene, so all the tears were choked up in my chest and God, it hurt. I felt like just turning around and heading right back home.. so I just took deep calming breaths and kept convincing myself that if I could get through this, I could get through anything. I arrived in Atlanta and one of seniors with whom I was going to stay, was there to pick me up. I had trouble there again, because both my bags didnt turn up. Put in a complaint and waited for the next flight. At the airport, we met a few guys who were also from the univ, in fact from my dept, and were very good friends with this girl and we were all chatting, and I felt a little better. Thankfully, my bags came with the next flight and then we took the train home. I crashed that night, completely burnt out from jet-lag. The next week was strictly okay. I started to get my bearings around the city and the university and the apartment. But I still felt like everything was unreal; I felt like I was in a strange dream, and nothing seemed.. whats the word, substantial ? And I missed home so badly... my parents, my lil sister, my house, my bombay, my local trains, my Xaviers college, my friends, my proffs.. i never believed that homesickness would ever be this bad ! But one of the things that helped me not to collapse was my friendship with Sampada. She was new too, here to do her PhD in Eng and we were sharing a room... she and I clicked right from the beginning in terms of taste, attitude.. whatever, we vibed really well. And our friendship was one of the things that kept me from going nuts. Hey Sam, if you're reading this, thanks for being such an awesome friend ! well anyway, Sampada and I both moved out into our own apt. Which was a big high for us, because finally, I felt like I had some semblance of home, and I felt a little more in control of my life. And then university began. So I slipped into the routine of classes and studying and commuting and exams. Also, our social life got better; I met a lot of people through Sampada, and our weekends,(so far touchwood ! )have been busy doing something or the other. I've met a lot of interesting people, and we've done a lot of fun things together. And hey, you know what, I can confidently say that I'm pretty happy now. Life's back in focus, and I know I'm actually living this dream. It's been more than a month, and Im beginning to enjoy my stay here ! I still miss home and all its flavours, and there are lots of things I still have to get used to, but in general, I think Im settling in pretty decently. Im making new friends and learning new things and I guess what counts the most is that Im finally feeling at peace... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 16th, 2004
11:16 am	Weather Its dangerous weather out there in the city today. Ivan's effects being felt all the way out here. Gusty winds and whole lotta rain. Schools in the county have all been shut down, but the university stays open. I had to get up at 6 in the morning and trudge sleepily through this crappy weather to the university for my 8 o' clock lec. And my umbrella blew away :-( of course, if I'd hung onto my umbrella I'd be flapping around in the wind like an ungainly Mary Poppins. Kept my fingers crossed that they'd close the university today, but its open. Obstinate people. Oh well. Most students are planning to go home early. I have a lec in the afternoon I'm planning to bunk. Wind shaking the window panes. Raindrops battering the ground.This is the kind of weather that makes you want to snuggle in bed with someone you love. That is, if you have someone you love. I'll just have to settle for a good book and a cup of tea and the Cranberries wailing on the system. Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: Typing of a 100 other keyboards in the comp la (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, September 10th, 2004
2:27 pm	Feeling a little down with unrequited love.... SHIVER So I look in your direction, But you pay me no attention, do you? I know you don't listen to me. 'cause you say you see straight through me, don't you. On and on from the moment I wake, To the moment I sleep, I'll be there by your side, Just you try and stop me, I'll be waiting in line, Just to see if you care. Did she want me to change? But I change for good. And I want you to know. But you always get your way, I wanted to say, Don't you Shiver? Shiver, Shiver I'll always be waiting for you, So you know how much I need ya, But you never even see me, do you? And is this my final chance of getting you? Sing it loud and clear. I'll always be waiting for you. Yeah I'll always be waiting And it's you I see, but you don't see me. And it's you I hear, so loud and clear. I sing it loud and clear. And I'll always be waiting for you,. So I look in your direction, But you pay me no attention, And you know how much I need you, But you never even seen me. -Coldplay Current Mood: restless Current Music: Shiever-Coldplay (1 Comment |Comment on this)